chris-Never expect

Hi..chris here,again borrow my bro's blog.Whenever MR j** ask : "are you a homosexual ?".I will slap his face for asking such idiotic stuff .What if, one day,finding out a handsome guy in uniten,getting closer and closer to him and started to hav feelings on him ? Finally,his leng zai image keep on ringing and ringing and ringing in my head until i explode and say: I like you..will u accept me as yr "bf" ? At this point,i believe my cha mee gang thought i am engaged in a gay relationship. Well, it's juz an example.

Recently some matter happen to me. Advice frm me : talk carefully and do nt talk words lightly

CAMEL

Smooth roads never make good drivers Smooth sea never makes good sailors Clear Skies never makes good Pilots. Problem and hassle free Life NEVER makes a strong person Be Strong enough to accept the challenges of Life Don't ask Life , 'Why Me? Instead say 'try Me!'

MBA ( Mentally Below Average )

The Management Lessons


LESSON 1

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp.

They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each"

So the eager senior manager shouted, "I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas , on a fast boat and have no worries." Pfufffff... And he was gone.

Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be In Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pfufffff¡-. And he was also gone.

The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm."

MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST"

LESSON 2

Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand, "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," said the young executive..

He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the shredder machine. "I just need one copy."

MORAL : "NEVER, NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING"

LESSON 3

An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA When the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?" The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you mean."

The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?"Again, the Japanese was confused over the question.

The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you ... Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese! Etc......??? "

The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am Japanese."

A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked what kind of 'key' was he.

The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of -kee' am I?!"

The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?"

MORAL : "NEVER INSULT ANYONE"

LESSON 4

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, He said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to be! Come, and then your wish will come true."

The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted, "WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.

Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.

The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool.

The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, SHIT....,


MORAL : "THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING, BECAUSE SOMETIMES ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN"

LESSON 5

The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge.. Each organ took a turn to speak up:
Brain....... .. I should be in charge because I run all body functions.
Blood....... . I should be in charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain.
Stomach... I should be in charge because I process food to the brain.
Legs........ . I should be in charge because I take the brain where it wants to go.
Eyes........ . I should be in charge because I let the brain see where it's going.
Asshole..... I should be in charge because I get rid of your waste.

All the other parts laughed so hard and this made the asshole very mad.

To prove his point, the asshole immediately slammed tightly closed and Stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste whatsoever.

Day 1 - Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief
Day 2 - Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly
Day 3 - Legs got cramps and became unstable
Day 4 - Eyes became watery and vision became blurred
Day 5 - Blood became toxic and poisoned the body
Day 6 -The other organs agreed to let the asshole be in charge.

MORAL OF THE STORY: "NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE THAT IS IN CHARGE".

Memories

Today whole day din go out din even out mamak cause my fren they all want watch football well today played whole day dota till I siao liao n on the last few matches also sien liao no mood play .. Then now about 1 45 am in the morning I suddenly had some flash back when I was form 1 when we used to be so plain and don`t know anything that time i don`t even study and so fcked up like now . . . Those days with frens play , talk , tease , wack n many more has gone I really miss those feelings where we can talk but at this age u know many things changes the ppl i know last time has already change and me myself have already change too . So many things change and everything its really complicated until me myself blur . Well the moral is that people changes due to the environment and time .

Finalize

I finally realise that after all these years what I did was totally wrong and today i finally finalize my decision after thinking for so long what did I did for the past and i had come to a conclusion and finalize my conclusion that all this will end today and everything will not be the same anymore .

Summary of my holiday . .

Well my beloved holiday has just end n u know what it really end up not well . Ok the 1st day cause of H1N1 my uni close and I forgotten to hand in my drawing so I went and ask the lecturer can I hand in my work after the holiday she said yes but early morning . that day I had classes on 11 am but I need to wake up at 7 now =. - Ok that ends day 1 the 2nd day was even worse I was open my assignment for autocad and I found out that my laptop got virus n I take the decision to format my pc . After hours formating my pc i reinstall everything and what is unexpected was the file for autocad backup cannot be read . So I dont have autocad in my computer now how sucky was that . the nxt day was trying to study but what happen was I really dont have the mood to study whenever i study for like 15 min I`ll go watch tv and do other stuff except study .. I know all of my frens have been studying for this holiday but I am not I dont know what happen to me . The nxt thing was the ptptn loan stuff my fren told me that the stem hasil need to be matikan so I went to the pejabat there n u know what they told me .. ur this document must fill up 1st everything including the signature of the saksi and stuff like that . . then I was like stunned at there . U know last time dont have this law also cause last time I borrow ptptn before but dont have this law also that time that fellow just matikan for me only . The 4th day of my holiday well I was trying to study malaysian study but study until half way I dont have the mood to study anymore because the whole thing say chinese last time what what la if not malay what what so good bla bla bla then there are no chinese in this country I was like walao like that say also can y don`t u think another way round if malaysia no chinese malaysia the economy sure hapus . . So that`s the summary of everything la nothing good is happening to me . .

Birthday ( continued)

Ok well today is my big day my birthday celebrated with family my dear sis bought cake n kfc for me . Hehe thanks sis . my bro gave me angpow .. bring good luck hehe thank u also bro . As for my parents they help me alot when i needed them n take care of me till i so big now haha thank u dady and mumy love u all , I love my family a lot muakx . *hug hug * haha .. thank u everyone for their wishes and I am very happy because the person I wish that will call me and wish me really called me and wish .. u know who u r rite =) haha . ok la that`s all take care everyone ^^ .